Bro.
I swear on Maggi and my 50 open tabs…
This semester I tried to “study smarter, not harder.”
Spoiler alert:
I ended up not studying at all. 💀
Here are the Top 10 Study Techniques That Failed Me Like My Crush Ignored My Texts.
Let’s cry together 🥲
1. Pomodoro Method 🍅 = Tomato Waste
Timer on. 25 min study. 5 min break. Repeat.
Reality:
- 25 mins watching reels, 5 mins crying.
- Then… nap.
Meme moment:
> "I’ll just rest my eyes during the 5 min break" – Last words before 3-hour coma. 🛏️💤
2. Making Pretty Notes with 5 Highlighters 🖍️
- I spent 3 hours color-coding headings.
- I knew which chapter was pink, which was blue…
- BUT NOT A SINGLE WORD FROM THE NOTES. 😩
3. Waking Up at 5 AM
"Successful people wake up early" they said.
- I woke up at 5.
- Stared at the ceiling.
- Contemplated life.
- Slept again at 5:12 AM.
4. Group Studies = Group Bak*hodi
- We opened books.
- We also opened Swiggy.
- Ended with chole bhature, no knowledge.
Relatable Quote:
> "Together we can achieve... nothing. But we’ll eat good." 😌
5. Studying in Cafés to ‘Feel Productive’ ☕
- I paid ₹300 for a cold coffee.
- Sat 2 hours.
- Read 2 pages.
- Scrolled Instagram 45 times.
- Left with anxiety and caffeine jitters.
6. Recording Myself Explaining Topics 📹
"Teaching helps you learn," they said.
- I explained mitosis to my camera.
- Later rewatched it.
- Sounded like a drunk TED Talker.
- Deleted immediately.
7. Background Music for Focus 🎧
- Lo-fi? No.
- Became high-fi.
- From instrumental → Arijit → full heartbreak concert.
- Ended up on Spotify top 100 crying under a blanket.
8. Reward System: 1 Topic = 1 Episode
- Thought I'd study 3 chapters, then binge 3 episodes.
- Studied 0.
- Watched 7.
- Now I know what happens in Breaking Bad, not in Chapter 5 – Thermodynamics.
9. Rewriting Textbook in My Own Words 📝
Translation level:
- Book: “Photosynthesis is a process…”
- Me: “So like plants kinda eat sunlight bro idk 🤷♂️”
Wasted ink, wasted life.
10. Manifesting Success ✨
- I wrote “I WILL TOP” on sticky notes.
- Pasted them on walls, mirror, my forehead.
- Universe saw.
- Laughed.
- Sent me a solid 42/100.
Meme reaction:
> "Law of Attraction? Bro I think I attracted FAILURE."
In Conclusion…
- I did everything.
- Except actually studying.
Moral of the story?
- Don’t trust productivity reels.
- Do trust your syllabus.
And maybe…
Start 2 weeks before the exam, not 2 hours. 🤡
Now excuse me while I go rewatch my own breakdown stories on Instagram 😭📚
--Share this with your fellow survivors.
--Let’s fail together, but funny. 😂